Saturday, August 25, 2018

Welcome to the world of InstaChat

For the second time in about four days, I've been in a stall in a public bathroom when someone else has come in and started narrating their inner world.

Today's running commentary:

"It smells like, Oh my god.

It smells like, a god, who's pissed at the world, because it shits dicks."

I hear a dog barking in the hall outside the the bathroom.

"I know that dog."

A-a-a-and, we're out.

A few days ago, it was a different bathroom on campus. I heard a man and a woman talking outside the bathroom, then the man entered and tugged on the door of the stall I was in.

"Hmm," I responded.

The man walked away, and then started talking. The level was so low that it sounded like he'd walked back out of the bathroom.

"I didn't know he was in there. I heard him say 'hmm'."

Then it became clear that he hadn't left the bathroom, but was merely speaking fairly softly - at the urinal.

Then he made his way to the sink (points for that!), where it took him a moment (filled with verbal astonishment) to figure out how to get water out of the automatic faucet. He did figure it out, and got some soap, which prompted, "This soap smells amazing."

Is this now a thing?

When for whatever reason we're temporarily unable to post to Instagram or whatever other cry of the heart we're using these days, are we supposed to verbally broadcast the minutiae of our transit through the cosmos?

I can’t keep up.


  1. My kid narrates her world. Previous to reading this I thought it was adorable. Now I'm wondering if it is because that is what Vloggers do and she idealizes a few of them. Of course, she hasn't really stopped talking since she learned how. But I think you are right, the internal dialogue is no longer internal.

    1. Oh, shit - was that out loud?

      I didn't mean to post this ...